Saving sucks.

I've been lazily boat shopping for a while now. Just browsing the net for anything new, but not really getting excited about anything. There are plenty of boats that I could potentially buy, but I am in no rush since I am still saving. As I have been looking through ads, I noticed that the Downeaster 38 is still up on most sites, and has been posted to new ones since I asked about it. I emailed the broker again and asked what was up, sure enough the person who was going to buy it failed to come up with a deposit so its back on the market. I plan on going up to see it this weekend so wish me luck!

This will be my first boat walk through with the owners or a broker so I'm sorta nervous. I have a lot of guidelines on what to look for, but I hope I don't miss anything in the excitement of it.

I have about 1/5 of the cost of the boat saved up, so I would feel fine about putting that down as a deposit and financing the rest. As long as I stick with my budget, I won't be putting any strain on my goal. It is amazing how the habits I developed while getting out of debt have stuck with me. I still think every purchase over many times before buying anything, unlike a few years ago when I bought anything I wanted without a second thought. Since I have this mind set, I have been able to save more than I had anticipated when I put together my budget a few months back. I am happy with the progress, but with this progress comes a lot of sacrifices.

I still sacrifice a lot of discretionary spending in order to keep my savings up. Unfortunately, a lot of the things start to wear on me from time to time. Its hard to see my friends go out to dinner or to a bar week in and week out. I want to go, but eating and drinking out is the easiest spending category for me to save in. Last year when I made the big push to change my spending habits in order to save, I saw that my budget was eaten away each month mostly from nights on the town. The hard reality set in after I gave up going out for a while and then tried to go back. The check at the end of the night hurt like it never had before. But I like that it hurts, it proves that my habits have truly changed, and I have indeed become a more frugal person.

I don't really know how to tell people that I can't go out or do whatever because I'm broke. They know I'm not broke, and could easily call me out on it. But do they understand why I'm not spending money? Do they really believe that I am saving for a sailing journey or do they just see it as an excuse lately? Sometimes I get a cold shoulder when I pass on an activity, and lately I've seen less invites from my friends to do pretty much anything, and that sucks. I understand that I put myself in this position, but do they understand why?

While most of my friends have a vague idea that I'm looking to buy a boat, I don't think many understand that my mind is completely set on making this boat not just a toy, but an avenue to a new life. I'm sure its hard for them to really get behind my cause and support me currently, because its all just a dream right now and to them, me saving money for a big cruise just looks like me being a boring friend who doesn't do much anymore. I have no boat, I have no one pushing me to do this for motivation, I have nothing solid but a blog and some savings. Hell, I have a hard time bringing up this dream to many of my friends, because we have all talked about doing something this outrageous many many times, but only in passing jest. It is always said when we see an island, go on vacation, or see someone traveling more than we are to say "lets say screw our lives and go do that!" Do my friends really realize that I mean business? Will it shock them in a few years when I announce that I am untying the dock lines for good? Will they care? Will it all click with them that while I was being a little reclusive, I was using all of my willpower to fulfill a dream?

Sorry for the rant, not sure where I am going with this. I've just been a little down lately about everything. Hell, I haven't even been able to pursue my personal hobbies such as beer brewing lately due to my savings push. I almost feel like I need to get the boat sooner rather than later, so the motivation is physical, people close to me can see I mean business, and maybe I'll actually get a little support and conversation from those people.

Until then, I'm nothing more than another guy sitting in an office wishing I was doing something better.

"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the philosophy of what you shall at last unveil." - James Lane Allen